Key takeaways
- To help a disorganized teen, lower your expectations, employ routines, and rely on planners and reminders—not memory.
- Executive functioning takes a remarkably long time to develop, so a middle or high schooler who is still learning to keep themselves organized is what we should typically expect from a brain still under construction.
- Routines reduce the demands placed on the brain’s executive functions, leaving more bandwidth for challenges that require fresh thinking.
- Organized people don’t have better memories than the rest of us; they simply have better systems, and what matters is that kids land on a method they’ll actually use and stick with.
Welcome to Season 7 of the Ask Lisa podcast! It kicks off with “How Do I Help My Disorganized Teen?” featuring guest and longtime friend Dr. Tori Cordiano, a psychologist specializing in executive functioning, ADHD, and learning disorders. We responded to a letter from a mother whose son is struggling to manage the logistics of a new school year, and who doesn’t have strong organizational skills herself. Be sure to watch the episode on YouTube or listen to it wherever you get your podcasts.
How can parents help a disorganized teen?
The conversation with Dr. Cordiano brought out three key points that any family adjusting to the routines and expectations of a new school year should cling to.
1. Lower your expectations
Executive functioning—the mental skill set that lets us plan, organize, and follow through—takes a remarkably long time to develop. The areas of the brain responsible for it aren’t fully formed until early adulthood, and even in adults, executive functioning is a limited resource that is depleted whenever life becomes busy.
So if your middle or high schooler is still learning to keep themselves organized, you probably don’t need to worry. In fact, it’s what we should typically expect from a brain still under construction.
2. Employ routines
Routines really work, in part because they reduce the demands placed on the brain’s executive functions. Once a task becomes part of a regular schedule, we no longer need to make a decision about whether to do it, when to do it, or what comes next.
For our adolescents, it could mean that dirty gear goes into the laundry the moment they walk in the door from practice, homework happens right after dinner, and the backpack is packed before going to bed. A dependable routine leaves more bandwidth for challenges that require fresh thinking, and it makes staying on top of recurring tasks less dependent on remembering, deciding, or summoning willpower in the moment.
3. Rely on planners and reminders—not memory
Organized people don’t have better memories than the rest of us. They simply have better systems—planners, calendar alerts, phone reminders, white boards, etc.—for keeping on track.
Tweens and teens in particular may need our help understanding that the ability to manage day-to-day demands isn’t a fixed trait some kids have and others don’t, but a skill based on consistent effort and well-chosen strategies. It’s fine if your kid’s approach to getting and staying organized doesn’t look like yours.
Color-coded planners may work for some young people, while phone alerts may work for others. What matters is that kids land on a method they’ll actually use and stick with.
Frequently asked questions
Why are teenagers so disorganized?
Executive functioning takes a remarkably long time to develop, and the areas of the brain responsible for it aren’t fully formed until early adulthood. So a middle or high schooler who is still learning to keep themselves organized is what we should typically expect from a brain still under construction.
What is executive functioning?
Executive functioning is the mental skill set that lets us plan, organize, and follow through. Even in adults, it is a limited resource that is depleted whenever life becomes busy.
How do routines help teens stay organized?
Routines reduce the demands placed on the brain’s executive functions: once a task becomes part of a regular schedule, there’s no need to decide whether to do it, when to do it, or what comes next. For example, homework happens right after dinner and the backpack is packed before going to bed.
What organizational tools work best for teens?
There’s no single right tool. Color-coded planners may work for some young people, while phone alerts may work for others; what matters is that kids land on a method they’ll actually use and stick with.
This piece was originally published in Dr. Lisa Damour’s newsletter in September 2026.
